In 1992, They Thought What They Did Was Cool

I wonder where these guys are today. Drach from Edinburgh, Tom Warchocki (West Seneca, NY), Brent Richter of Colorado Springs, Marc Formosa (Hockley, England)...your kids today must be very proud that dad got his picture printed in a comic book back in 1992. That's like super awesome, dude!

Y'know, kids? Those little things you get when you're intimate with a woman. Y'know...woman?

Yes, I belong to the camp that thinks cosplaying is only cool when the participants are nubile yet over the age of consent Japanese girls who dress up as their favourite manga/anime characters. Skinny white dudes in make-up? No...just no.

Still, none of them can hold a candle to this guy....




From Lobo: Infanticide #3 (DC, 1992) by Keith Giffen and Alan Grant

Lobo's Back (DC, 1992)

My scanner is kaput. I just want to get that piece of info out right away. As a blogger who irregularly posts, a scanner is most essential. Especially since this blogger blogs about comics...books with pictures, basically. So yeah, I'm a little bit p.o.'d that my 'Made in Taiwan' scanner decided to give up the ghost today...and I've only had it for about 6 months. So I hope anyone who reads this understands why there aren't any panel scans and things like that. Luckily Comics.org had a cover scan. (Edited to add: Special thanks to Maxo from Great Caesar's Post for providing the three panels scans you see below. Check out his blog, whydontcha?)

So anyway, Lobo's Back.

Previously, I wrote about Lobo: The Last Czarnian and it's re-issue in the brand new collection, Lobo: Portrait of a Bastich. Well, Lobo's Back is included in that collection as well. Joy.

This time, the Main Man is killed. Shocking but true. I didn't know he could be killed but for the purpose of this mini-series he could, so there you go. Hard up for some hard creds, Lobo takes up a seemingly easy job looking for a bounty called Loo. He finds Loo at the end of issue #1, they fight and Lobo gets bushwhacked by Loo's partner, Brother Feces.

No, seriously.



Lobo is literally cut in half by a midget who lives in a pouch (tied to Loo's belt) filled with shit. Hey, if that won't make you interested in picking up Portrait of a Bastich, I don't know what will. The remaining three issues of this mini-series deals with Lobo's attempt to go back to the fight and square things off. See, Lobo, for some strange reason, ends up in Heaven after being cut in half. Heaven can't handle him so he gets transferred to Hell...and Hell won't have him either. Seems he was having too much fun in the depths of the Inferno. So Lobo gets reincarnated back to a new body; first as a woman and then as a rabbit before finally going back to his own body and getting the upper hand on Loo and Brother Feces.

This being a Lobo comic, there are lots of mindless fighting and swearing and bodies getting ripped to pieces and stuff. A fun, fun comic perfect for the entire family. But like most or I should say, all, Lobo comics, the plot is paper thin and the action scenes are repetitive. Lobo acts like a jerk, kills people, moves on. Lather, rinse, repeat. Now imagine four issues (about 96 pages) of that. No wonder we rarely see Lobo nowadays. His shtick got old pretty quick back in the 90s. His cameo in 52 was probably what prompted DC to bring back his old books for the new generation of readers (if there are any).

The "Lobo" creative team are all here (Giffen, Grant & Bisley) with Christian Almay coming in for one issue covering for Simon Bisley. Like the The Last Czarnian, a Lobo comic is always fun to read but I'm not sure if it has any lasting appeal. Lobo is written to offend and nothing more. He's like the weird biker boyfriend your sister used to date: he seems like a cool guy at first because the grown ups don't like him but later you realise, he's nothing but a waste of space. Just like Lobo. I thought he was funny when I first read him but fourteen years later...meh. Yes, I called Lobo a meh.

Still, if you're not easily offended and are curious to read Lobo's early adventures then by all means get the Lobo:Portrait of a Bastich trade paperback that includes this mini series and The Last Czarnian. But for Heaven's sakes don't pay retail price for it. You hear me, you bastiches?!

LOBO: The Last Czarnian (DC, 1991)

Lobo: The Last Czarnian collects the first solo adventures of everyone's favourite intergalactic bounty hunter this side of Boba Fett. Since DC just released an all brand new Lobo collection (Lobo: Portrait of a Bastich (2008)) that includes the very same story, I thought I'd do my usual half assed review of it here.

Last Czarnian collects the Lobo mini-series that first came out in 1990 and it sees the psycho space biker and all round party guy going on a mission to escort a prisoner safely into the hands of Vril Dox, leader of L.E.G.I.O.N '90. Little does Lobo know that the prisoner is none other than his fourth grade teacher. So Lobo isn't the last Czarnian left in the universe after all. The rest of the 90-odd pages sees Lobo making pit stops here and there on the way to L.EG.I.O.N. HQ with his 'prisoner', annoys the locals, gets into a fight, kills a few people and moves on. After a while it gets kinda boring.

The main problem with a character like Lobo is that we know he is basically immortal so there's no danger of him getting killed ever. Even if he is killed, he comes back two panels later anyway. There's no suspense which is why all Lobo comics are presented as 'fun' comics and not to be taken seriously. On the plus side however, it helps that Simon Bisley (art), Keith Giffen and Alan Grant (plot and dialogue) are on the same wavelength and it is obvious they had fun drawing and writing the book. Bisley especially deserves extra credit for his rendition of Lobo which has been accepted as the standard look for the character.

Anyone who is unfamiliar with Lobo need not worry since the writers use a convenient plot device to keep the reader up to date with Lobo's origin. It is revealed that his fourth grade teacher wrote an unathourised biography of her least favourite pupil and excerpts from the book are used at the end of every chapter. Informative and it enhances the plot. Now, that's good writing.

Lobo: The Last Czarnian was hot way back when because it was Lobo's first solo adventure before the doom of overexposure visited him like all other popular comic book characters. Reading it again today, I found it to be just okay if albeit repetitive. New fans of Lobo or veteran fans who may have missed this book the first time around should give Last Czarnian (reissued as Lobo: Portrait of a Bastich trade) a try. Lobo's always fun to read. Just don't expect anything special.

Friday Night Fights: Knockout Round 10

So, this guy just won't take no for an answer. What's a girl gotta do? Well, maybe she's gotta do...

Oh, you go, girl!

From Strangers In Paradise by Terry Moore

Justice League of America: The Lightning Saga HC

You know, there is no way a comic called The Justice League of America featuring Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman could ever be boring. There's just no way.

Well, this second volume of JLA which collects the "Lightning Saga" storyline, which originally ran through three issues of the League comic and two issues of the Justice Society of America series, proved me wrong. It's probably the first comic trade featuring scantily clad superheroes that I have had trouble finishing. I literally took a week to finish the damn thing. No, I'm not a slow reader, wiseguy. It was just that boring. Here's the gist of the story: The League discovers that several members of the Legion of Super-Heroes from the 31st century are here today in 'our' Earth. No one knows for sure why and the LSH ain't telling and when Superman tried to find out, the good guys end up fighting a psycho computer with tentacles. No, really. Which was also the first really big fight we get to see in this "saga". It also appeared in the Justice Society part of the crossover. The JLA portion of the saga mostly had Power Girl and Black Canary standing like two pinup models posing for a photo shoot. Hey girls, less strutting your stuff and more punching, mmm-kay?? This is a superhero comic book after all. I want mindless punching, maybe some quick quips and the occasional exposition to get the plot moving. But just you standing there mouthing off words? Naaww. It gets tired pretty quick. If I wanted to stare at boobs, I'll go buy one of those "guy" magazines, know what I mean? Work with me here, people!!

There are a couple of done-in-one issues that round up this collection (Walls and Monitor Duty) which I haven't read yet, I admit. I was just too bored with the Lightning Saga that I just had to warn all five people who read my blog to please avoid this book. Go read it at Borders or the local library but for Heavens' sakes don't bother parting with your money for this. Yes, it's that bad. I only bought it because I had the first trade collection. That book wasn't any great shakes either but I decided to give volume 2 a chance just to see if it gets any more exciting. Nope.

Oh, and the whole Legion of Super-Heroes thing? Turned out they just wanted to bring Flash (Wally West) and his family back. Should I have given a spoiler warning? Eh, who cares. I just saved you 25 bucks. Thank me.

Death And (Probably Inevitable) Return of Orion

Orion of the New Gods apparently died in this issue:



But you can't keep a Kirby creation dead for long. DC's already planning a comeback. Here's a proposal for the cover of a brand new #1:


Buy five copies.



Today's lame ass joke was inspired by this site. I actually owned three of the albums featured there (no, I won't tell you which three).

I Got Nothing Today

Will Someone Give Me A Job?

Kids Aren't Reading (Superhero) Comics Anymore...

Comic books (and you know I mean superhero comic books) seriously need new blood in their readership. We old folks won't be here forever and we need them kids to take a look at the stuff Marvel and DC are offering. But these kids aren't doing that, are they? Oh, they're reading all right just not the comics the Big Two are churning out. They rather read manga (nothing wrong with that) or they are reading novels with all those words and hardly any pictures in them (shock! horror!). Why, in the name of everything that is holy, aren't they picking up Batman?

Many reasons have been suggested: the ever increasing price of a 'floppy' (4 bucks for an ad-filled magazine? fergedabouit), just-wait-for-the-trade mentality (Guilty, yer Honour!), no comic shops nearby, comics no longer sold anywhere else but a comic shop (I used to be able to buy comics from the local grocery way back when!).

But here's another reason that I can think of but is hardly ever suggested: the superhero comics are repeating the same stories ad nauseum. How many times are we going to read about Batman foiling Joker's latest insane killing spree? Yet another mutant massacre? It's been done. Also, the sheer amount of history and continuity is just too overwhelming for a kid to just come in and start enjoying the books. Besides, the old stuff weren't that interesting. Try reading a Marvel ESSENTIALS or a DC's SHOWCASE phone-book size reprints. Good Lord, most of them are repetitive nonsense. As a piece of comics history, sure, those books are a nice way to look at the past but give them to a comics newbie and chances are he/she will look at you funny. Most people who enjoy these reprints are the 30, 40, 50 year old comic fanboys holding on to their memories of the days when everything seemed cheap and fresh.

The kids are reading. They're just not reading the good ol' superhero comics. Maybe they are more sophisticated than us?

Eh. Whatever, I'm just shooting the shat here. I'm not really worried about comics going out of business. I don't think it ever will. Maybe it will evolve. But to hear Marvel, DC, Dark Horse et al. announcing they're closing shop? Naaaw, not gonna happen. Fingers crossed.

Friday Night Fights: Knockout Round 9

After a brief hiatus, I'm back in the fight. Can't stay away from Bahlactus for long. He'll hunt you down! First, a bit of backstory for tonight's contender: St. Augustine!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "No way this man of the cloth is gonna last the round." Shows what you know, sucka!

See, he has the pointy hat and all. He's ready to rumble!

Just be patient. I'm going somewhere with this.....

See? Toldja! You don't mess with a man of God, you hear?

From Action Philosophers Giant Size Thing - vol. 1 by Fred Van Lente & Ryan Dunlavey

Garfield Minus Garfield

Check this out: Garfield minus Garfield. It is what it says it is, a Garfield comic strip without Garfield or that stupid dog. Just Jon seemingly talking to himself and that makes the strip even funnier. Or I should say, funny, since I never really found Garfield even slightly amusing (I preferred Bloom County myself). These are, as the site creator says at the top of the page, "even better comic[s] about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life," when Garfield is removed from the panels.

Now someone do the same with Beetle Bailey.

Hulk #2

So in this issue, the crimson-tinted Hulk has to....aww, who gives a damn? They lost me at Jeph Loeb.

Mini Review - Harley Quinn: Preludes and Knock Knock Jokes HC

Aaaannnd I'm back. I told you I'll be back in February. I didn't say when in February, did I? Hah! Just had to sort out some personal stuff and then decided to take some time off from blogging. Because I can. But I'm back and there is much rejoicing across the land. What have I been reading this past few days? This:


It collects the first seven issues of Harley's own series, written by Karl "12 parsecs" Kesel and art by Terry and Rachel Dodson. In this collection, Harley decides to go solo after Joker tries to kill her, tangles with Two-Face, have a girls' night out with some of DC's femme fatales, recruits a Joker wannabe into her gang and tries to rob Wayne Manor. Fun!

I like Kesel's plots. And here I thought he was just a kick ass inker. Nothing ground breaking here, I admit, but writing an entertaining comic book story isn't as easy as you would think. If it was, I'd be doing it myself. The Dodson's art is solid. I've never seen their work before this and it reminds me a little of the late Mike Weiringo and that's no bad thing.

Harley Quinn: Preludes and Knock Knock Jokes is a nice collection that a Bat-fan should own. A bit overpriced perhaps ($25 for seven issues) but who buys at retail price anyway? Or you could wait for the softcover version.

And that's my mini review. Yeah, it isn't much...I'm still rusty from taking a couple weeks off.

Steve Gerber Is Dead.

From Comic Book Resources.com:

"Legendary comics writer Steve Gerber passed away on Sunday, February 10, 2008, due to complications from pulmonary fibrosis. He was 60-years-old.

Best known for his creation Howard the Duck, Gerber was responsible for many of the memorable characters of the 1970s including Omega the Unknown, Man-Thing and Shanna the She-Devil. In the last two decades, Gerber authored celebrated Marvel Comics stories including runs on “Sub-Mariner,” “Daredevil” and “Defenders.” DC Comics published Gerber’s creator-owned works “Nevada” and “Hard Time,” both of which were met with considerable critical acclaim.

In television, Gerber was a writer and story editor on such lauded series as “The Transformers” and “G.I. Joe.” He created “Thundarr the Barbarian,” and in 1998 shared a Daytime Emmy Award for his work on “The New Batman/Superman Adventures.”

Prior to his death, Gerber was writing “Countdown to Mystery: Doctor Fate” for DC Comics."

Arrgh! Man-Boobs!

Y'know, I've never really hated Rob Liefeld's art back when I was collecting comics. He wasn't my favourite but he wasn't at the bottom of my list either. But Damn!, this pin-up of Captain America gave me nightmares when I first saw it. This should have a caption at the bottom, "Look, kids! Just say "NO" to drugs. I didn't and look what happened!"



(yeah, I haven't been updating this blog as often as I should. Sorry.)

With A Surname Like That, Of Course He Had To Be A Doctor

I bet none of his students dare to skip his classes. Homeland Security should keep an eye on this guy. Find out what he does in his spare time. I'm thinking "dabbling in the Dark Arts" is a favourite.