20 November 2007

Sith Lord Smackdown: Maul Doesn't Know When To Quit

Aww, you gotta be kidding me! Those were the first words that came to my mind when I first flipped through Star Wars Visionaries. SWV was a showcase book for Lucas' ILM dawgs to tell their own Star Wars stories and charge the kids USD$17.95 for the privilege. The first story, "Old Wounds", featured a cyborg Darth Maul on the hunt for Obi-Wan Kenobi. A cyborg Maul. Seriously? No back story was given on how the hell he crawled out of the pit in Theed and managed to get himself a robotic lower body. Like this story here where Maul takes on Vader, the how is really not important. A Darth Maul story is a guaranteed fanwank material.

Cyborg Maul never forgot that he got pwned by a Padawan. A Padawan! Maul may have looked scary and had a cool lighsaber but the fact remains that a trainee Jedi who was already hanging by his fingertips managed to jump over him and cut him in half. So now he wants revenge and he's not gonna let a small detail like a missing lower torso stop him. Now that's determination! Maul follows a trail that leads him to a small moisture farm in Tatooine.

(click and drag to enlarge)

Whoa, Obi-Wan was hiding under the Tatooine desert sand all this time waiting to ambush Maul? Age has not diminished his bad-assedness. Sith Lord and Jedi Master fight for a couple of pages for old times' sake but it's Uncle Owen who jumps in and finishes it once and for all with a blaster shot to the head. You don't mess with a moisture farmer, pal. These guys take no shit from nobody!

Getting cut in half by a Padawan was bad enough, now he gets bushwhacked by a farmer? Oh, the shame. All the other dead Sith Lords are gonna pick on Maul in Sith Hell for eternity now.

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