02 August 2007

Green Lantern: Rebirth (D.C.)


In 1994, the people at D.C. Comics who were in charged of the Green Lantern smoked one too many of those funny cigarettes and came up with the daring idea of turning Hal Jordan, Earth's Green Lantern, into bad guy Parallax and eventually had him killed and turned into the vengeful spirit, Spectre.

Green Lantern fanboys went ape-shit crazy. And that's the worst kind of crazy, let me tell you. I admit I don't have a confirmation on this but the D.C. office was swamped with angry letters and even unsolicited story ideas from fans who refused to accept the "Hal Jordan joined the Dark Side and now he's a ghost" storyline. But D.C. was adamant. Hal Jordan is gone. Live with it, people.

Fast forward to 2004 and the launch of the mini-series, Green Lantern: Rebirth. I like to call it Green Lantern: Retcon because that's what it is. Geoff Johns was brought in to clean up the mess that he didn't make and he had to make it good. It's not great literature (it's a comic book, whatchoo expect?) but as comic retcons go it's not half bad. Ethan Van Sciver was tasked with the pencilling chores.

Johns decided that the biggest retcon is the Parallax nonsense. Yeah, it's not Hal's evil alter ego. It's not Hal's evil twin. Parallax is actually the embodiment of fear itself and it actually looks like this:

Parallax is a big yellow grasshopper. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you come back.























































Hi, welcome back! You okay with that revelation? Hal Jordan was possessed by a yellow alien grasshopper. Apparently, the Parallax grasshopper thingy was banished into the Central Lantern Battery by the Guardians of the Universe a long time ago before comics were invented. It stayed imprisoned inside the Battery waiting for the right person to set it free. Parallax found the right person. No, not Jordan. Jordan's just the host. Parallax found this guy:


Yes, who else but Sinestro. He was actually a Green Lantern before he joined the Other Side, but really, if your name is Sinestro, I don't see how you can stay a good guy for long. Especially with that mustache. All he needs now is a top hat and cape and he can terrorise young ladies on railway tracks all day long. And if you don't know what I'm talking about....don't worry. Nobody's perfect.

Anyway, by this time Hal Jordan's soul decides to leave the Spectre and flies back into his own dead body. Jordan's back! Fanboys rejoice! Yay! See, that wasn't so hard, D.C.

Hal Jordan. Sinestro. They fight.



Jordan kicks Sinny's ass in double quick time but the flying egghead man with diabolical mustache manages to escape to another dimension. Of course. That's what I would do. Now Jordan and the remaining Green Lanterns (Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner and Kilowog) have to go and have a little chat with Parallax the yellow tinted grasshopper embodiment of Fear. But first, Batman expresses his doubts regarding Hal's innocence. Here is Bats doing the paranoid schtick (oh yeah, didn't I mention? The Justice League, Justice Society and Teen Titans have a brief cameo):




Batman should watch out for the Angry Black Man. He's not afraid of you, Batman. And neither is Hal Jordan. Batman doesn't trust anyone who isn't afraid of him and Hal Jordan is so high up on the bravery scale that Bats' "fear me for I am sexier than you!" strategy doesn't work on him. In fact, he lays one on Batman instead:


Holy Sucker Punch, Batman! That's gotta hurt. Maybe it was payback for this?




The Lanterns then go do battle with Parallax who has possessed Ganthet, the leader of the Guardiands of the Universe. Suffice it to say, they succeed.



Parallax is sent back into the Central Battery on the Guardians' planet of OA and the heroes go back to Earth for a lot of hi-fiving and back slapping. Except for Batman. He's still pissed off, more than usual. But he concedes that Jordan's return could be a good thing. That is Bat-speak for "Welcome back, old friend!"

Back at the Green Arrow's place, Hal Jordan is reunited with his old Lantern ring charger thing which Green Arrow has kept all this time:






Welcome back, Hal Jordan.

1 comment:

MCF said...

Green Lantern: Rebirth kicks soo much ass! It is the first Green Lantern project that piqued my interest, and I can't wait for the Sinestro Corps War to get collected!