Cobras I Wish Would Appear In The Movie

He's not in the movie, is he? If he is that would be so stupid cool.

The Marvel run of the Joe comic had all these crazy ass characters that appeared for only one or two issues. Maybe Hasbro had a new action figure out and wanted Larry Hama to promote it. Still, an accountant dressed up as a falcon would so make me want to watch the movie.

What, There's A Difference??

Yeah, Gung-Ho. At least get the species right. That's a croc, not a 'gator chewing on Stalker's thigh.

Anyone else think that Stalker is not a bad-ass?


From G.I. Joe #13 (Marvel, 1983), by Larry Hama, Mike Vosburg & Joe D'agostino

Different Sizes Of My Dicks

I don't mind the larger size (bigger panels after all) but they couldn't do this from the first book??? I mean look at that! My 'Dick Tracy' shelf looks all wonky now with the different size volumes.

Phoning It In...

Wolverine and Shang-Chi, Master of Kung Fu, doing that Zen thing in a monastery somewhere in Madripoor. Yeah, I got nothing.

Then There Was The Time Mark Waid Got 'Kidnapped' By A Couple Of Fanboys

The following story was totally cribbed from this week's Cup O' Joe at Comic Book Resources. Yeah, I'm cutting and pasting entire posts now. Roll with it. Anyway, it's a funny story, in a creepy, "I'm gonna make you squeal like a pig" kind of way.

Mark Waid:
Several years ago, I had done an over-the-phone college radio interview with a couple of guys in Vermont. Chat went fine, I remembered to mention what a genius Alex Ross is the requisite nine times, and we probably moved some trade paperbacks in the process. So once the interview was done, one of them explained that they ran a store in one of Vermont’s largish towns and asked if I’d be interested in doing an in-person signing. “Sure,” I said. At the time, I was living in Brooklyn, so it would be a short flight, and I’d never been to Vermont before. Fly up late on a Saturday morning, home on Sunday morning, see the sights, meet some fans. “Great,” I said. Set me up.”

The flight--on one of those twin-engine jobs where they discount your ticket if you bring your own helmet--was, despite the tiny cabin, spectacular. Honestly. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky at any point during the trip, and I just stared out the window at the beautiful farmland below. Landed around noon. My hosts were there to pick me up. They were a little younger than I’d figured they were going to be, but at least they were there at the gate like they’d promised they’d be and, besides, I’ve never been very good at picking up on Giant Red Flags.

So they piled me into their 1932 Hupmobile and, though we didn’t have a whole lot of time before the signing was scheduled to begin, they decided they wanted to give me a tour of the city. “Here’s the college,” they remarked as we drove past.

“Cool. Store’s probably nearby, right? Where’s the store?”

“And here’s the business district. This is the downtown area. And over here is restaurant row.”

“Nice. Very pretty. Very picturesque. So where’s the store?”

“Now, down here is the old mill. Been closed for a while, but it’s still a big tourist draw.”

“That is something. Yes, sir. So where’s the store?”

“Well, Mr. Waid...about that...”

There was no store.

Let me repeat that.

There was no store.

There. Was. No. Store. Instead, there were, in this town, two comics fans who had pooled their lawnmowing money to pay for a LaGuardia-to-Vermont plane ticket for their very-soon-not-to-be-favorite writer so they could meet him and own him for a day.

There. Was. No. Store.

I’ve seen the movie Misery. I’m ahead of you. I’ve told this story often enough that I know exactly what your response to that is. You want to know how quickly I reached from the back seat of the Hupmobile, snapped their necks, and took the first plane back to New York. That is a perfectly reasonable thing to wonder, but you have the dual benefits of hindsight and perspective. I had neither. For me that afternoon, it was just such a surreal, slow-dawn unfolding of the bizarre that the indignant neck-snapper in me was internally at war with my analytical-writer side, and I was forced to fully assess the situation rather than follow my murderous instincts. The arguments against Hulking out were compelling. First, I was completely dependent on these guys for transportation, and we were so far from the airport that finding, much less paying for, a taxicab was out of the question. Second, I already knew for a fact that there were no more flights back to New York that day. Third, this was long before I had a cellphone in my pocket at all times so, on the off-chance the cops would be able to fingerprint these guys’ necks before I could hitchhike over the state line, I had no easy way of letting my friends and family know whatever became of me. And...and, I admit, this was the single most pertinent factor...the morbidly curious part of me, the part that loves a good story, was dying to know what was going to happen next.

Here’s what happened next: Nothing.

I don’t mean, like, nothing bad. I mean, like, nothing. We drove around some more. I answered a lot of questions about what Alan Moore and Paul Levitz were really like. I signed a few of their comics, I lied about being hungry and made them change our dinner reservation from 7:30 to 5:00, I met their nineteen fanboy pals at the restaurant, I inhaled my food, and I was finally alone at the Sav-On-Inn by six.

There was no cable TV. I spent most of the next several hours watching fishing shows.

The next morning, they and all nineteen of their friends--each and every one of them holding in his trembling hands a mini-series proposal for the resurrection of some obscure DC character no one will ever, ever, ever care about--swung the Hupmobile by to grab me for breakfast before the flight home. I begged off on the meal, asked politely but firmly that they simply get me to the airport, and then, once I was there, where there were plenty of Federal marshals around to keep any of us from doing anything regretful, I politely read these guys the riot act. I explained how so very uncool this was, how it was flattering and their hearts were in the right place but how freakish this whole experience had been, and that before I would ever even consider referring any other comics pro to them, comic books would no longer exist. They got it. I saw in their sad, puppy-dog eyes that they got it. There was no question that they got it.

Six months later, another pro called me for info. He remembered that I’d been invited to Vermont and he was interested in taking a trip there if they’d fly him in. He’d tried calling ahead, but for some reason, directory assistance didn’t have any comics stores listed in the area.

Go figure.

Tiny Titans Darkseid Is So Cute...

From tiny titans: Adventures in Awesomeness trade collection. A book that makes me squee with delight every time I read it. Which is often.

Hey, Look! A New Post!

Well, it's been like what, two weeks since I last updated this blog? Sometimes real world responsibilities set up an ambush for you and you have no choice but to take care of it and leave everything else (like a blog about comic books). Anyway, I'm back and let's hope I won't go away for long after this, huh?

So what's this? John Stewart and the Martian Manhunter arrive at the planet Xanshi. They were assigned to Xanshi by the Highfather and Darkseid to destroy the Anti-Life Aspect before it destroys the planet and put the Milky Way galaxy in peril.



So off the Lantern goes without his Martian partner because he's ring is all-powerful and all that...


Whoops...
The thing they were sent there to destroy is in freakin' yellow, the one colour a Green Lantern's ring cannot fight against (pre-Green Lantern: Rebirth) and John Stewart just left his all powerful Martian friend a few thousand kilometres behind him. This will not look good on his resume, that's for sure. But wait...


Who the heck is this guy? Seriously, who is he? Look at the first panel up there. The locals have a distinctive look. This guy looks like Jerry Garcia. Is that how writer Jim Starlin looks like? It just took me out of the story for a second. It's like seeing a Charlton Heston cameo in a silly comedy or something.

20 years ago, a Cosmic Odyssey threatened to destroy the galaxy. Jim Starlin and Mike Mignola were there to chronicle it. The collection is still available online or you can wait till September and get the new edition. Probably nothing new other than a new foreword maybe.

Friday Night Fights: G7 Fight Music round 3

I'm A Dinosaurus Roar, Roar, Hey everybody, I'm A Dinosaur ~ Former Fat Boys

Devil Dinosaur shows everyone why he's top lizard in Devil Dinosaur Omnibus by Jack Kirby

Shut Up, Paco!

Yeah, Vibe, because your shockwave abilities are oh, so cool.

I have an irrational dislike for Paco Ramone a.k.a Vibe, can you tell?

B'wana Beast: Alpha Male

There are two reasons why I love Grant Morrison. First, he brought back crazy stories into the pages of superhero comics when he took over Doom Patrol when everyone else was going for grim and gritty. The other is when he saved B'wana Beast from obscurity and reintroduced him to a new generation of comic fans in the pages of Animal Man. Because that made the writers of the Justice League Unlimited cartoon show remember B'wana Beast as well and that, in turn, prompted Adam Beechen to feature B'wana in an issue of the Justice League Unlimited comic.

That's why I love Grant Morrison.

Anyway, in issue #29 of the JLU comic, the League is up against mind controlled gorillas in Seattle and they're actually having trouble subduing the apes. Mainly because there's no help from B'wana Beast. He's off doing his "Lord of the Jungle" thing, much to Superman's chagrin.


B'wana's such a jerk...but I love him, the big lug.

Superman then asks Animal Man to go talk to B'wana Beast seeing as how they both have animal-related powers. B'wana ain't interested, baby.

B'wana Beast gives help to no one, whelp!

So then the League receives an emergency call from Mexico City. Queen Bee is holding the entire city ransom. Lots of money or she'll sic her mutated killer bees on the populace. Not nice. The League goes to work. Superman orders Animal Man and B'wana Beast to try and channel abilities of natural bee predators like wasps or bears but B'wana Beast ignores him because:

Yeah. He's off doing his own thing again until, that is, when Animal Man gets into trouble





So BB isn't such a jerk after all.

Awwww.....

I love the all-ages superhero comics. Justice League Unlimited, Tiny Titans, DC Superfriends, Batman: Brave and the Bold, Marvel Adventures. They're not pretentious and they tell their story in one issue. Plus, I can share them with my kids. This story is collected in Justice League Unlimited: Heroes and was written by Adam Beechen with art by Carlo Barberi and Tom Fowler.

Batman Has Eggnog With The Kents

Awkwaaaard. And does Clark have boobs in the background there?


From Justice League Unlimited: Heroes by McAvennie, Greene & Massengill

Friday Night Fights: G7 Fight Music round 2

This time round, Spacebooger insists that all fights must relate to a song, lyric from a song or music in general. He doesn't believe in taking it easy, the Booger. So here's my entry: a giant sized man beating the heck out of a reptilian monster in briefs.

He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash

It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash

Chorus from Bobby "Boris" Pickett's Monster Mash. Panels from Marvel Monsters hardcover collection. Written by Steve Niles, art by Duncan Fegredo

Out Of Context Sunday...erm, no, Thursday.

There's a hot looking woman chained in this guy's bomb shelter, wearing high-heeled boots and practically nothing else and he wants to know if she's a vampire???

I think he's gay.

Yes, I went there.

From Vampirella: Crimson Chronicles Maximum collection from Harris Comics. Story by Archie Goodwin, artwork by Jose Gonzalez.

Great Moment In Comics History No. 8: Holy Crap, Kal-El!

Not really that far back to be considered 'history' but check this out:


Jay Garrick gets struck by lightning and what does Superman from Earth-22 do? He jumps in and punches away the lightning bolt!!

That is hardcore.

From Justice Society of America: Thy Kingdom Come, Part Three by Johns, Ross, Eaglesham and Pasarin (DC, 2009)

I'm Outta Here!

No, I'm not closing down this blog. Was that a groan I hear? Yeah? Well screw you! No, the mid-term school holidays are coming up here in Malaysia so I'm taking the family on our annual vacation trip. This year we're planning to travel to the northern Malaysian state of Trengganu. There will be no emails, no fax and no handphones. I don't care what happens to the outside world. I'm taking a break. I'll be back in a week or so. Maybe I'll write something about the holiday. Who knows, I might see something interesting/weird/scary. So adios, ciao, see ya. I will have to miss the opening Friday Night Fight at Spacebooger.com but family's first, man.

In the meantime, here's 'spiky' Ben Grimm:



Sorry, man. You're too late. I am sooooo outta here. Go ask the Beyonder or somebody else.

In Which I Officially Thank Spacebooger

Because, you know, he made me Grand Champion of the recently concluded Friday Night Fights: O.P.P. (One Panel of Pain).

I would also like to thank William Messner-Loebs and Greg LaRoque for writing and and pencilling the sweet scene of a crying Wally West super-speed bitch slapping Mark "Manhunter" Shaw. That panel was like, totally rocking, you guys!

And the grand prize? A copy of the Superman IV: Quest for Peace comic. Mmm, yeah. Well, it's free and I'll bet it'll be good for a few laughs.

Before The Identity Crisis Retcon, Dr. Light...

...was kinda of a dweeb. He was a joke, a B-list villain who couldn't even win against a bunch of kids. So John Ostrander got permission to use him in Suicide Squad, the mid-1980s comic where obscure DC villains get a second chance or get killed. No one knew what Ostrander wanted to do with Dr. Light so in #36, we were surprised when the Doctor actually wanted to turn over a new leaf and be a hero (after getting some pep talk from the ghost of Jacob Smith Finlay, the first Dr. Light).


So the new 'heroic' Dr. Light gets to prove himself in everyone's favourite dystopia, Apokolips, but not after more morale boosting from the ghost of Jacob Finlay.




It was all a trick! Finlay wanted revenge! But wait...


Poor Finlay. First he gets murdered then he gets to spend all eternity with his murderer because causing someone's death won't get you into Heaven. We all know now that (the second) Dr. Light is back on Earth and is actually a rapist (gee, thanks a lot, Dan Didio). So when was he resurrected? And who is that ugly troll? That creature is one of Satan's minions and Light himsellf would be resurrected in another awesome issue* of Suicide Squad, a series that had pure awesomeness oozing out its pages in just about every issue even though it was saddled with less than stellar pencillers all throughout its run.

*yeah, I plan to blog about that particular issue soon. It's a hoot, I tell you.

It's 'Thankless Job Day'...

"HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!!" to all educators wherever they are

Screw Star Trek, I'll Be Watching MEGA SHARK vs. GIANT OCTOPUS

Seriously, I will be. I mean, Lorenzo Lamas and 1980's teen sensation Debbie Gibson are in it. This is classic Cinema Du Fromage!



Didja see that bit at the end of the clip when the mega shark jumps out of the ocean and attacks the airplane and the one passenger who saw the shark totally wet his pants? That was cool.

Spin In Your Grave, Ms. Austen!

After waiting for a few months, it's finally here. Haven't read it yet and I won't have an opportunity to really tackle it until the end of the week but boy, I don't remember the last time I was this excited to be reading a Jane Austen novel. Let's hope this won't turn out to be one huge suck. I was promised ninjas, zombies and Elizabeth Bennet kicking butt so you better deliver, Seth Grahame-Smith!

Good Comics Not Many People Read: Green Manor vol. 1 (Cinebook, 2008)

I'm getting burned out by superhero comics lately but I still love to read books with pictures and word balloons so it was quite serendipitous that I found out about Cinebook, a British publisher that translates European comics into English, and a damn fine job they're doing too. Check out their site and see some stuff that may not have come to the attention of fans of mainstream comics (read: US superhero comics)

I particularly like Green Manor, a French comic. It is actually a series of short stories, none longer than 8 pages, framed at the beginning and at the end of the book by a mental patient who claims that he used to be an employee of Green Manor. The Green Manor is an exclusive gentleman's club in Victorian England which on the surface doesn't make it any special than the other clubs...except that the patient insists that most of the Manor's posh members are nothing more than thieves, conmen and murderers (mostly murderers). His years there have made him privy to a lot of stories and it is these stories that he tells.

The stories themselves are quite enjoyable. Seeing as how none of them exceed 8 pages, the stories have to move along at a brisk pace and writer Fabien Vehlmann succeeds. That doesn't mean the stories are simple though. The plots are intriguing and the mysteries always end in some kind of twist. My favourite story in this volume is Post-Scriptum where a club member challenges another member to stop him from killing a woman by midnight the next evening. He actually succeeds in killing both his intended target and the man he challenged to stop his murderous plan but did not realise that his victim had prepared something beforehand, just in case. Vengeance from the beyond the grave, so to speak.

There is no gore in any of the stories. The killings are almost always off camera and artist Denis Bodart's cartoony style presents a nice contrast to the dark mood of the stories. It is a pity that Green Manor, despite being translated into English, would probably fail to capture the attention of comic fans outside of Europe. It is time we realise that there are a lot of good stuff out there that is not necessarily from the US. They may not feature powerful people in spandex punching other powerful people in spandex but these books are no less well written and illustrated. If you like murder mysteries, check out Green Manor from Cinebook. I bought mine from Amazon UK. I wished the creators had written more but there are only three volumes of the Manor (Cinebook combined the second and third books together so the English version only has two volumes).

Friday Night Fights: OPP - round 12

You know what? Call it lazy, call it 'phoning it in'. I don't care. I've won TWO OPP fights, boyo! If I want to showcase something ho-hum like a middle aged Batman kicking Superman in the jaw, well then, by golly, I'll do it!

Spacebooger has more fights from the other guys...but none of them won twice!

Dark Knight Returns by Miller, Janson and Varley

PROOF book 1: Goatsucker (Image, 2008)

Proof is John Prufrock. He's a talking Bigfoot, wears a suit and tie and works for The Lodge, a clandestine agency funded by both the US and Canadian governments to investigate reports of 'cryptids' or sightings of strange animals and if true, bring such animals back to The Lodge before anyone else sees them. It's for both the creature's and the human population's sake. Think X-Files but set in Washington state and Mulder is a 9-foot ape (or think Hellboy but without the Nazis).

Sure, it's hardly original but I love these kind of stories. In this first trade collection, Goatsucker, Proof gets a new human partner, Ginger Brown, who is transferred from the FBI to The Lodge when she is rescued in a hostage situation by a Golem in New York's Diamond District. Oh, it'll all make sense once you read the book! Trust me. In this first trade the principal players are introduced (other than Proof and Ginger, there's the Lodge's boss, Leander Wight) and then it's off to Minnesota to investigate an alleged sighting of the Chupacabra or 'Mexican Bigfoot'.

This Chupacabra doesn't suck goats, it sucks out the insides of humans and puts on their skin over its own, essentially passing itself off as human because it wants, for some reason, to kill Proof. We are not told why. Even the monster doesn't remember why. Being a first volume of an ongoing series, Proof naturally raises a lot of questions and hardly answering any of them but it is intriguing enough for me to go out and look for the second trade collection. I hope I'll get some answers then. I mean, Proof is an English speaking ape who works for the government. How the hell did that happen? Where's the backstory there? And who is Mi-Chen-Po? What's up with the Golem in New York? Answers, guys! Give me some! Yeah, I'm hooked, damn you.

DC Comics Library: The Batman Annuals volume one

I know what I will be reading at work tomorrow...during lunchtime, that is, 'cause reading when you should be working is wrong.

I'm not a huge fan of the Silver Age Batman, having grown up reading his grim and gritty adventures post-Dark Knight Returns of the 1980s. Still, this panel sold me on this book:


Jungle Batman clubbing a panther! How can anyone not like that?