Shut Up, Paco!

Yeah, Vibe, because your shockwave abilities are oh, so cool.

I have an irrational dislike for Paco Ramone a.k.a Vibe, can you tell?

B'wana Beast: Alpha Male

There are two reasons why I love Grant Morrison. First, he brought back crazy stories into the pages of superhero comics when he took over Doom Patrol when everyone else was going for grim and gritty. The other is when he saved B'wana Beast from obscurity and reintroduced him to a new generation of comic fans in the pages of Animal Man. Because that made the writers of the Justice League Unlimited cartoon show remember B'wana Beast as well and that, in turn, prompted Adam Beechen to feature B'wana in an issue of the Justice League Unlimited comic.

That's why I love Grant Morrison.

Anyway, in issue #29 of the JLU comic, the League is up against mind controlled gorillas in Seattle and they're actually having trouble subduing the apes. Mainly because there's no help from B'wana Beast. He's off doing his "Lord of the Jungle" thing, much to Superman's chagrin.


B'wana's such a jerk...but I love him, the big lug.

Superman then asks Animal Man to go talk to B'wana Beast seeing as how they both have animal-related powers. B'wana ain't interested, baby.

B'wana Beast gives help to no one, whelp!

So then the League receives an emergency call from Mexico City. Queen Bee is holding the entire city ransom. Lots of money or she'll sic her mutated killer bees on the populace. Not nice. The League goes to work. Superman orders Animal Man and B'wana Beast to try and channel abilities of natural bee predators like wasps or bears but B'wana Beast ignores him because:

Yeah. He's off doing his own thing again until, that is, when Animal Man gets into trouble





So BB isn't such a jerk after all.

Awwww.....

I love the all-ages superhero comics. Justice League Unlimited, Tiny Titans, DC Superfriends, Batman: Brave and the Bold, Marvel Adventures. They're not pretentious and they tell their story in one issue. Plus, I can share them with my kids. This story is collected in Justice League Unlimited: Heroes and was written by Adam Beechen with art by Carlo Barberi and Tom Fowler.

Batman Has Eggnog With The Kents

Awkwaaaard. And does Clark have boobs in the background there?


From Justice League Unlimited: Heroes by McAvennie, Greene & Massengill

Remember That One Time When Batman Had A Free For All In A Ring Of Fire?

Silly super villain.

See, Batman figured out you are all Martians and in the DC Universe Martians fear only fire.

Batman is awesome and scary.

From JLA: The Deluxe Edition, vol. 1 by Morrison, Porter & Dell (DC, 2008)

INVASION! Tie In: Justice League International #23 (DC, 1988)

On Monday, we saw how Oberon saved the JLI headquarters from alien midgets during the 1988 INVASION! It was one of the few good tie-ins to the so-so INVASION! mini-series proper (which incidentally must always be referred to in italics and capped with an exclamation point). It was funny, it fleshed out an all too often ignored character and it showed a dwarf smacking down some aliens. Gold!

The next issue of JLI was an INVASION! Aftermath tie-in and it introduced one of my favourite evil guy groups: THE INJUSTICE LEAGUE. The funny one, not the deadly serious one with Agamemno and Luthor.



Led by Major Disaster who wears thigh high pink boots and a hood, the rest of the group consists of Big Sir, Cluemaster, Multi-man, Clock King and the Amazing Bruce. This motley crew discovered an abandoned Khundian spaceship on one of the South Pacific Islands after the alien invasion and decided to use it for their own purpose but they have trouble turning on the engines. Alien technology, you know?



This of course doesn't inspire confidence in the rest of the team:


And when they finally manage to get the darn thing in the air, this had to happen:
And the nascent Injustice League is quickly captured and arrested by the Justice League but the readers loved them so much that Keith Giffen brought them back in a Justice League Annual where they got to fight mutant, flesh eating penguins in the South Pole. That is a comic just waiting to be reviewed here. Some day, I hope.

First, we get to see Oberon in Rambo mode and now the introduction of a fan favourite group of loser villains. So that's another good thing that came out of INVASION! That mini-series wasn't so bad after all, I think.

INVASION Tie-In: Justice League International #22 (DC, 1988)

DC is planning to release their 1988 mega event INVASION! in trade format later this month so I thought what better time to revisit some of the titles that I bought that tied in with the event. Yeah, that's right, we're going straight into the tie-ins and not even stopping to look at the INVASION! mini-series. Mainly for two reasons: One, I'm sure the other more well-known blogs will be talking the hell out of INVASION! way better than I could, and two, I re-read the series a few weeks back and it did not age well in my opinion. McFarlane art? Passable. Story? Okay. It started off well, I thought, then it veered off into the land of mediocrity and never left. Book 3 was the worse. Every meta human is brought down because of the metagene bomb and they can't find a cure. 80 pages of sick superheroes and supervillains dying in hospital beds while Superman flies around looking for a cure. Exciting! (It's slightly more complicated than that but not by much).

But first I must give some background info to the mini series (which I totally cribbed from Wikipedia): INVASION! sees "the Dominators [putting] together an Alliance to invade Earth and eliminate the threat posed by their unpredictable "metahumans." (Secretly, the Dominators wish to harness this and breed their own army of metahumans, but this goal is kept secret from the rest of the Alliance, and from their own junior cadres.)". Their invasion goes well at first. Australia is theirs, Antarctica is theirs and the aliens are advancing in the South Pacific. The League is dispatched there to hold back the invasion force, leaving Max Lord, Oberon and Booster Gold to hold the fort back at New York. Booster Gold is a bit p.o.'d because he has to pull monitor duty while the other heroes are off fighting aliens. Little did he know that back in Oz, the alien alliance were about to send a group of shape changing Imskians to infiltrate Justice League Headquarters via the captured teleportation tube:

Booster is quickly taken down by 6 inch midgets. His self esteem experiences a downward trend.

With Max none the wiser, Oberon is left all alone to handle the threat:

He finds himself cornered in Blue Beetle's League quarters with nothing but a flash-gun to help him.
It works. Big ass flash gun vs. tiny eyes results in instant knockout. Oberon saves the day. Yay!

But what to do about the prisoners?
"Oberon Unleashed" was just one half of the comic. The other half was about the rest of the League destroying the Khund fleet in the South Pacific. The heroes used a mixture of guile, brute force and a well placed bomb to achieve their mission but it's the Oberon part of the story that I liked more. It was the first time I ever saw Mr. Miracle's assistant kick some ass and of course the only way for Oberon to do that was to give him foes who were smaller than him. Classic issue.

Justice League of America: The Injustice League HC (DC, 2008)

Pros: Dwayne McDuffie....and that's it in the "pros" column. Pulling McDuffie on board as writer of JLA is this fan's dream come true as McDuffie wrote some good stuff when he was on the 'toon version of Justice League.

Cons: Ed Benes. He can draw, sure, but looks like he went to the Jim Lee School of Static Art. Lots of "poses" and not much fluid movement. I almost decided to drop JLA from my trade collecting because of him but decided to give Dwayne McDuffie a chance first. I'm beginning to regret my decision. Gratuitous ass shots, boob shots. Damn, McDuffie deserves a better penciller! Benes didn't design Black Canary's and Wonder Woman's costume, I know, but can he pose them less like pin-up models and more like super heroines? I much prefer Mike McKone's pencils on the Wedding Special included here as the first chapter.

Though I welcome Dwayne McDuffie as the new writer of JLA, I have to concede that the tales collected here aren't his best. Luthor forms the "Injustice League Unlimited" (ugh!) and kidnaps several of the JLAers, including Batman...how the hell did that happen?, but not before ambushing and almost killing the new Firestorm. I thought they had killed him (Cheetah sure thought so) but he turns up alive and well later on. Superman and Black Lightning goes to the rescue, Batman frees himself and the rest of his captured teammates and they all beat up the bad guys. It ends with Batman shanghai-ing Firestorm into joining the League.

My overall opinion of this collection? Meh. Not as bad as the last JLA trade collection but not very good on its own either. Slightly disappointed with McDuffie but I think I'll wait for the next JLA collection before deciding to continue or drop the title for good.

Justice League International Vol. 1 HC (DC, 2008)

Let's hope DC collects the entire run of the Giffen/DeMatteis Justice League run because it was, in my opinion, the best run in League history. And my opinion matters, dammit! Keith Giffen and JM DeMatteis chose to take the humourous route for this League and while some readers didn't like it, most embraced the concept like a long lost friend. I seem to recall reading a Giffen interview in some magazine where he admitted that making Justice League funny was not his nor DeMatteis' original plan. They were merely adjusting to the situation. When DC green lit a new Justice League comic, Giffen said he naturally wanted some heavy hitters in the team. He wanted Batman. He got Batman. How about Superman? Sorry, no. Okay, no problem. Green Lantern? DC gave him a Green Lantern but not the Green Lantern. Dr. Fate for some magic kick ass-ery. Captain Marvel was being revamped so the powers that be at DC insisted he be included. And the Martian Manhunter as well since he was in the previous Justice League (the "Detroit League" which no one wants to talk about nowadays). And then DC gave him Blue Beetle, Black Canary, Doctor Light (the good one, not the retconned rapist), Mr. Miracle, Oberon and Booster Gold because he had his own solo title at the time.

And that's how Justice League International got to be funny. Not because the writers wanted it to be but because they looked at the group and thought, "Holy crap! That's a lot of second stringers we got stuck with!"

I don't know whether Giffen was being truthful in that interview or not but I don't care. His Justice League had one of the greatest moments in comics EVAH! and it also introduced the Beetle and Gold partnership that was cruelly destroyed when DC wanted to bring back the infinite Earths. Also, Batman made a funny:



But reason numero uno this Justice League is fondly remembered today? Kevin Maguire. No one draws facial expressions like Kevin Maguire.

Sam Neill is Maxwell Lord.

The hiring of an unknown penciller and giving him the task to draw the company's flagship super group either proved that DC saw this guy's talent and decided to give him a big break or that DC just couldn't be bothered with yet another League comic that was never gonna outsell Uncanny X-Men anyway so they just grabbed the nearest penciller they could find and gave him some cash in return for some artwork. In any case, both the comic and the penciller owed each other for their respective successes.

And now for the hardcover collected edition....the main gripe here is the almost newsprint quality of the paper stock used. I said "almost" because I don't think it's the same paper stock that they used on the original comic. This one is of a tad higher grade but still not glossy and for a retail price of USD$24.99 and just seven issues (192 pages), the fanboys cried foul. I for one do not agree with the fans but I can see where they were coming from. Plus, I loved the JLI so I'm biased. What's collected here are some of the most fun superhero stories ever written just a few years before mainstream comics went all gritty and dark and "mature". Go grab a copy and give Kevin Maguire some lovin'. And then wait for volume two.

Justice League of America: The Lightning Saga HC

You know, there is no way a comic called The Justice League of America featuring Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman could ever be boring. There's just no way.

Well, this second volume of JLA which collects the "Lightning Saga" storyline, which originally ran through three issues of the League comic and two issues of the Justice Society of America series, proved me wrong. It's probably the first comic trade featuring scantily clad superheroes that I have had trouble finishing. I literally took a week to finish the damn thing. No, I'm not a slow reader, wiseguy. It was just that boring. Here's the gist of the story: The League discovers that several members of the Legion of Super-Heroes from the 31st century are here today in 'our' Earth. No one knows for sure why and the LSH ain't telling and when Superman tried to find out, the good guys end up fighting a psycho computer with tentacles. No, really. Which was also the first really big fight we get to see in this "saga". It also appeared in the Justice Society part of the crossover. The JLA portion of the saga mostly had Power Girl and Black Canary standing like two pinup models posing for a photo shoot. Hey girls, less strutting your stuff and more punching, mmm-kay?? This is a superhero comic book after all. I want mindless punching, maybe some quick quips and the occasional exposition to get the plot moving. But just you standing there mouthing off words? Naaww. It gets tired pretty quick. If I wanted to stare at boobs, I'll go buy one of those "guy" magazines, know what I mean? Work with me here, people!!

There are a couple of done-in-one issues that round up this collection (Walls and Monitor Duty) which I haven't read yet, I admit. I was just too bored with the Lightning Saga that I just had to warn all five people who read my blog to please avoid this book. Go read it at Borders or the local library but for Heavens' sakes don't bother parting with your money for this. Yes, it's that bad. I only bought it because I had the first trade collection. That book wasn't any great shakes either but I decided to give volume 2 a chance just to see if it gets any more exciting. Nope.

Oh, and the whole Legion of Super-Heroes thing? Turned out they just wanted to bring Flash (Wally West) and his family back. Should I have given a spoiler warning? Eh, who cares. I just saved you 25 bucks. Thank me.

Justice League America #34 (DC, 1990)

Why do I love the post-LEGENDS Justice League? Simply because it was fun, dammit. There were some people who didn't like the snappy dialogue and the off-beat adventures that this incarnation of the League had. Those people are dead to me, dead. Giffen and DeMatteis were the Alan Sorkin of comics at the time. It was the only comic at the time, I think, that even had Batman crack wise deadpan-like once or twice. And the Booster Gold and Blue Bettle double team? Fergedabouit. Comedy gold, they were.

In JL #34, the Gold and the Blue decide to open a holiday resort called "CLUB JLI" complete with casino on the Pacific island of Kooey Kooey Kooey. The League was actually invited to establish an embassy on the island by the tribal chief so his small island can boast a powerful deterrent force of super-heroes. Smart man. The resort and casino idea was never part of the deal. That was all Booster and Beetle. Of course that idea was unauthorised and unknown by the rest of the League especially by their boss, Max Lord. This was the 1990 pre-Countdown to Infinite Crisis Max Lord. He's still somewhat of a good guy in this series.

Club JLI quickly becomes a success and attracting all sorts of people including Z-grade villains Major Disaster and Big Sir who arrive on the island incognito to try their luck at the blackjack table. Actually, it isn't luck. Major Disaster learns that Big Sir, a somewhat simple minded lunkhead (who once destroyed Barry Allen's face back in the early '80s), has the Rain Man like ability to count cards. And just like that scene in the movie, (which was where Giffen and DeMatteis probably copied...erm, took inspiration from), Major Disaster and Big Sir are soon raking it in.



Big Sir's so good at counting cards, he broke the bank much to Beetle's displeasure:



Losing all that money was bad enough. What made it worse was that Beetle and Booster "borrowed" all the money for their capital from the Justice League's accounts. Now, not only are they bankrupt, the League is as well. Max Lord soon finds out and rushes over to Kooey Kooey Kooey with murder in his mind. Prophetic, I must say.

Meanwhile, Aquaman shows up all angry-like. He tells the newly bankrupt venture capitalists to evacuate the island because it's about to dislodge itself. Apparently, all the construction on the ground has awaken Kooey Kooey Kooey.

The damn island is actually alive! It's alive, it's awake and it's going walkabout. And it's taking the natives, tourists and shocked heroes along for the ride. The chief knows about the island being sentient. He just didn't tell anyone else. Didn't think it was a big deal. He's a card, eh?

Major Disaster and Big Sir are oblivious to all this at first seeing as how they have moved upwards financially. With the money, the Major wants to go forward with his plan to RULE THE WORLD!


I like that panel. It features cameos by three characters from Mike Barr's Maze Agency, a whodunit comic book that was very well written and beautifully drawn but hardly anyone read because it didn't feature any superheroes. I'll talk about that series one of these days. Why were they inserted in an issue of Justice League? Well, they shared the same penciller: Adam Hughes.

Anyway, back to the story...

Well, when your villain name is Major Disaster you shouldn't be surprised, really. He should have picked Tsunami Man or Agent Orange or something more bad ass. Agent Orange is not so bad ass but, c'mon, it is a bit better that frickin' Major Disaster if he knows his Wiki. So, he lost all the money and is back on skid row (no, not the band, wiseguy).

What about Blue Beetle, Booster and Aquaman? Their fates were resolved in the next issue but it's this issue that I consider a classic: the concept of a sentient island that goes swimming to another location once it's awake is just great. This is the kind of bizarre stuff I like to read in my super hero comics. Sure, punch ups between spandex clad guys and gals are nice and all but sometimes writers need to be creative and come up with silly stupid cool stuff like Kooey Kooey Kooey so that nerds like me will talk about it in their blogs in years to come.

Justice League America #34, January 1990. Good times. Gooood times.

Great Moments in Comics History No.1: One Punch

Justice League #5 (DC, 1987). The first half of a two part story. The baddie is called The Gray Man, some ancient mystic who has kidnapped Dr. Fate and unleashed his Gray Man clones all over a small town in Vermont and turning the populace into zombies. Or something like that. Frankly, no one cares about that issue's baddie of the month because whenever you show the cover of this comic, those who were fans will remember only one thing:

Guy Gardner gets bitch punched by Batman.

Hell, even the comic creators think that's a more important event than the main plot. Look at the cover. Any mention of the Gray Man? Nope. Any prone bodies of our heroes lying unconscious on the ground as the bad guy laughs triumphantly? Nada. Instead we get the Martian Manhunter and Captain Marvel trying to hold Guy Gardner back with the words "Batman vs Guy Gardner: SHOWDOWN" on the top of the cover. Yup, back in the 80s, you knew what you were getting with your comics just by looking at the cover. I miss those days. But this momentous event only took three pages of the entire comic. Three pages. And it's these three pages that people remember most in this issue. If that doesn't deserve a Great Moment in Comics History tag, I don't know what does.

Here's the setup:

Gardner thinks he should be the League's leader instead of Bats. Batman, being the gentleman that he is, suggests that the Green Lantern is acting like a mongrel. Oh, it's on, baby!


I like the look on the heroes faces there. Mr. Miracle is irritated. Booster Gold and Capt. Marvel are just shocked, shocked that someone not called Superman dares to point a finger at Batman. That takes balls. Or a high level of insanity. Either one.

Captain Marvel tries to butt in because he's....well, stupid. Batman agrees with me, so there.


Captain Marvel walks away sulking. That was something you don't see in comics before or since. Just another reason why the Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis JUSTICE LEAGUE was such a fan favourite. When everyone was writing dark, moody stories, Giffen and DeMatteis gave us Captain Marvel in a hissy fit.

Anyway, Guy opened a can of whup-ass.

And gets a big BONK of a punch from Batman:


That's all he wrote, Suzie! One punch and Guy Gardner's down for the count.

Batman is like, "So, anyway....let's start this meeting". Bad ass. And that's why this episode gets this blog's first ever "Great Moments in Comics History" award.

Resulting effects: Guy Gardner becomes a peace loving hippy. He doesn't turn back to normal (or abnormal, if you prefer) until issue 18 when Lobo crash lands on Guy's head.