Friday Night Fights: KA-POW!! round 2

Three days ago, we were shocked to discover here in DGR that not only was Dredd taken down by a punk with mad martial arts skills, Dredd was taken down by a punk with mad martial arts skills called Stan Lee! Stan Lee got away then but fool must have forgotten to take his smart pills because he came back to Mega City One.

And Dredd wants a rematch. It is on, boyo! Though Stan Lee gets first crack on Judge Dredd with the old 'kick-them-through-the-restaurant-signboard' maneuver...


...Dredd quickly comes back and whapps him one with a right hook.


And then just for shits and giggles, he makes sure the poser stays down with a good crunnkk upside Stan's face.

In Mega City One, police brutality is the law! Much like Spacebooger on Friday Nights.

From Judge Dredd Case Files 11 trade paperback by John Wagner, Alan Grant & Barry Kitson

Bush Gives Medal to The Man

Stan Lee gets a medal from the National Endowment for the Arts. Congratulations, sir!

Suck it, Ditko! Suck it hard!

Dredd Doesn't Know Kung Fu

Swede has been getting too big for Clubland. Time to cut him down to size by 'Iron Fist' here. Too bad Judge Dredd was patrolling nearby. No problem, just throw some shurikens at his chest.


Dredd can give as well as he can receive...


...but this new guy is just too good, Drokdamnit!

So who was the mystery assailant who took down the baddest Judge of Mega City One?

Stan Lee?! Dredd got served by a punk named Stan Lee!!

So will we, Dredd. So will we.

From Judge Dredd Complete Case Files 10 trade paperback.

The First Secret Invasion: Fantastic Four #2 (Marvel, 1962)

So you think Secret Invasion is original, do you? Wrong! It's been done. Stan Lee and Jack Kirby wrote the Skrulls' first ever "Secret Invasion" in Fantastic Four #2 back in 1962. And it only took them a single issue to tell the story. How's that for compressed storytelling?

FF #2 opens with members of the Fantastic Four causing mischief all over New York. Sue Storm steals a gem, Thing destroys an oil rig (or a military installation, I can't tell which and Stan doesn't elaborate), the Torch melts down a solid marble monument and Mr. Fantastic cuts the power supply to the entire city, the cad. All this is done in front of the unbelieving eyes of the public and we soon find out why. It was a quartet of Skrulls who what done it!


So where are the real FF? They're hanging out in an "isolated hunting lodge" where they find out what happened from the radio.


Check that out: The Torch is packing heat. He knows how to take care of a threat...just shoot the buggers. Also, "the Torch is packing heat"? Ah-hah! Ah-hahaha! Oh, my ribs!

But young Master Storm also comes up with a plan. "Since there are four no-goodniks out there imitating us", he says, "why don't I create a ruckus around the city as the Human Torch to flush the other three out and I could infiltrate their secret headquarters." There is a flaw in this plan of course that any 5-year old can see. How can the FF be sure that only three bad guys will come out when they find out there's a Human Torch out there causing havoc? Won't the evildoers sit around together in their hideout and when they see the Torch in the sky, won't they say, "Well, all four of us are here. So that must be the real one. Leave him alone. The human soldiers will shoot him down."?

But introducing logic and common sense into a super hero comic book is a silly thing to do. In fact, it is to laugh. So Johnny's plan worked. He is soon picked up by his fake sister and her boyfriend and brought to their hideout...where he is immediately exposed.


The fake Torch manages to subdue the real one but not before Johnny alerted his teammates with the FF flare. The cavalry arrives, they fight the Skrulls, they win. But there is still the matter of the invasion fleet up in space. How to defeat them? Reed Richards comes up with a plan of his own. The mother ship doesn't know the advance unit has been defeated, so why don't we claim to be them, fly into the ship and convince the general to cancel the invasion. Simple, really. And exactly how does Richards plan to convince the Skrulls that the invasion is a no-go??



He shows the Skrull leader pages from a Marvel comic book!! I think I know why the Skrulls are invading the Marvel U. again now. It's to pay back for the humiliation they suffered back in FF #2. I mean, how dumb can you get? "Here, look! Earth's defenses are too strong. They have monsters and creatures from the Black Lagoon. There is no way we can defeat them. Run away! Run awaaaayy!! Hmmm? What? Who is this guy Jack Kirby who signed his name at the bottom of each page, you ask? Oh, no one. Just ignore it and abort mission!"

With that problem solved, the FF goes back to New York and have to figure out what to do with the three Skrulls from the advance unit that they captured. Again, Mr. Fantastic comes up with a plan:



Force them to change into cows, hypnotise them so they'll forget their true identites and then put them to pasture. Brilliant!

But wait...three Skrulls? Didn't they disguise themselves as the Fantastic Four? Where's the other one then? No one noticed this goof back in swinging '62 and the question was never answered until a decade later.

More on that soon.

Reed Richards, Super-Genius...Terrible Memory

Okay, what is wrong with this panel from issue #20 of Fantastic Four by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby? Give up?

By issue #20, the FF have met the Skrulls, Kurrgo, master of Planet X, Uatu the Watcher, the Impossible Man and a time-travelling Pharaoh....and Reed thinks a meteor that crash landed on a farm is proof that there is life in outer space???

Marvel Tales featuring SPIDER-MAN #170-#172 (Marvel, 1984)

Remember when Spider-Man comics had good stories to tell? Yeah, it's been a while. I haven't picked up any of the core Spider-Man titles for more than ten years now and what with the hoopla of 'One More Day', I doubt I'll be returning anytime soon to the one character that made me decide to seriously collect comics way back in 1984. Did I say, "I doubt"? Well, anything can happen in the future but it is telling that since I returned to reading superhero comics in 2005, albeit in trade collection format, none of the books I bought have been Spider-Man titles other than the Marvel Adventures hardcover, that Mary Jane Loves Spider-Man hardcover and some collections of the good ol' times when he was fun to read (i.e. anything before the Spider-Clone saga). A bitter former Spidey fan, am I? You think?

Which brings me, in a rather roundabout way, to today's blog entry. Marvel Tales Starring Spider-Man #170 was the first comic in 11-year old Khairul H.'s comic collection. It wasn't my first superhero comic. I don't remember what my first superhero comic was but Marvel Tales #170 was the one that, after reading it, made me decide to visit the neighbourhood grocery shop to wait for this title every month and thus became the first comic in my humble comic collection.

I remember picking this comic up and thinking that it featured a brand new story. Hey, I was 11! Cut me some slack here! The cover had the blurb, "Dedicated to YOU, the great new Marvel breed of reader!" That's me, I thought at the time. I'm a new great new Marvel breed of reader. It spoke to ME. It took a second reading to make me realise I was actually reading a reprint of a Spider-Man story first published in 1965 and that Marvel Tales is a title used to showcase classic Marvel comics for a new generation of comic readers. No wonder the characters wore somewhat out of date clothes, I remember thinking. Hey, I may be 11 but I was already quite a hip fashionista, baby. Anyway, the fact I was reading a reprint didn't bother me. I was already hooked.

Issue #170 turned out to be the first part of a three part story (A serendipity. I probably would not have been a loyal reader if I started reading with #171, for example. The back issue boxes? What back issue boxes? I bought the comic from a grocery, for Heaven's sakes!) It opens with Spider-Man attempting to stop a gang of masked crooks from escaping with radioactive materials. How exciting was that? First time reading a comic book and I was already treated to some superhero action on page two. Spidey fails to stop them however and leaves the scene wondering together with the reader what the heck was that all about. In the meantime, Peter Parker gets himself enrolled into college and finds out his Aunt May is dying (gee, nothing new there). Issue #170 ends with Round 2 of Spidey versus masked henchmen of mysterious evildoer. Bad guys escape again and I couldn't wait for issue #171 arrive.

One thing that I noticed while re-reading this issue is the compressed style of writing. Check out this page for example:

In just nine panels on one page, a new reader unfamiliar with the book can do some catch up, at least with the supporting characters. One, the grouchy guy is J. Jonah Jameson. Two, he's the big boss. Three, he's also quite impatient. Four, Foswell is his top reporter. Five, his secretary is called Betty Brant and Peter is her boyfriend. She also doesn't think too much of Jameson. Six, she's torn between two men in her life, Peter and this guy Ned and seven, she suspects that Peter is hiding something from her.

All that on just one page. Back then, Stan Lee and co. wrote comics like their lives depended on it. If this scene was written in today's comics by certain writers, all that information would have been spread across pages.

Issue #171 and Spider-Man is a pissed off superhero. It is revealed that Aunt May who fell ill and was dying in the last issue became that way due to radiation in her bloodstream and it's all Peter's fault. A much needed blood transfusion from nephew to auntie in an earlier issue is now threatening her life. I would have thought that the irradiated blood would give May Parker the proportionate strength of a spider as well but no, Stan Lee chose the 'knocking on Heaven's door' route. Besides, Aunt May in superhero tights? Yikes!

With the help of Doctor Connors (a.k.a The Lizard on his off days), Spider-Man discovers that there's only one kind of serum that has any hope of helping his aunt and wouldn't you know it, it has just been stolen from the hands of the courier who was supposed to deliver it to Doctor Connors. And it was stolen by the same hoods from the previous issue. Damn, if it isn't one thing, it's another. It turns out that they are working for a mysterious bad guy who calls himself the MASTER PLANNER. He's been ordering his men to go and steal radioactive materials and new fangled chemicals which are all part of his dastardly plan to rule the world. And who is this MASTER PLANNER?

Oh, it's him.

Cue fight scene between Spidey and Doctor Octopus that ends with Spidey trapped under what looks like a very heavy piece of machinery and Octopus' secret hideout has a leak in the roof. Oh, didn't I mention his hideout was under the sea? Well, it was. And it had a leaky roof.


And finally, this is it. Spider-Man is trapped under tons of steel, the serum that could cure his aunt just inches away from his grasp and seawater is leaking through the roof. Issue 172 of Marvel Tales was and still is ten kinds of awesome. Just look at that cover. It had no word ballons and just one blurb, "The Final Chapter", to entice the potential buyer. In fact, the cover would have been better without that blurb. Just the image of Spider-Man trapped under all that steel, trapped in that claustrophobic environment with water pouring in, pouring onto his head. To an 11 year old who has been following this story for the past two issues, I couldn't wait to see how he escapes from this trap. And boy, did it deliver. Check out these panels:

Yeah, you can do it, Spidey. You can do it.

That's it! Work those biceps!

Screw the strain! You got a sick aunt who's counting on you!

Yes! Yes! You're almost there! C'mon, Spider-Man!

HELL, YEAH! YOU THE MAN, SPIDEY! YOU THE SPIDER-MAN!

Hot damn! I was never a big fan of Steve Ditko's style (and I'm still not a fan today) but those panels were breathtaking. Twenty three years later today and they can still generate excitement in me. I want Spider-Man to get out and escape so he can help his aunt. I am there rooting for him on every panel and wishing he doesn't slip on the pool of water or lose his grip or anything. Now this was what I used to read comics for. Pure unadulterated suspense, action and good ol' super heroics.

The wall-crawler escapes just in time before the roof collapses and after punching his way through the remaining few of Doctor Octopus' hired help, he hands in the serum to the doctors at the hospital. Aunt May recovers, Peter is happy and I became a new loyal reader of Marvel's in general and Spider-Man in particular that lasted for about ten years before that dang Spider-Clone storyline ended it all.

Good times, gooood times.

These issues, along with the entire Stan Lee/Steve Ditko run on Spider-Man, have been collected in the The Amazing Spider-Man Omnibus volume 1. I highly recommend this huge volume if you're even slightly interested in Spider-Man. As I write this, the Omnibus will be going through a second printing as the first edition sold out mighty quick (well, the third Spider-Man movie was doing its run so that must have helped sales of the book). As mentioned above, I'm not so hot on Steve Ditko's pencils but he was the first Spidey-artist and he did design the look so from the historical perspective, his contribution cannot be denied. And Stan Lee's writing? Well, it's Stan Lee. Verbose where it needed to be and full of action where action was required.

Amazing Spider-Man #87

One of the problems of having a superhero secret identity is that you need to keep it a secret even from your close friends and sometimes even your family. You need to do your own laundry, you must know how to sew (not many haberdasheries catering to the super folks out there) and you always need to come up with a good excuse why you come home every night covered in bruises ("It's nothing, mom. I'm okay. I just popped in at the S&M club and some of the girls got too frisky. Couple of the guys too, come to think of it.")

Well, in this issue ol' Peter Parker went and told his friends about his secret alter ego. But let's back up a little bit...

Peter suspects that his Spider mojo is finally running out. He's getting dizzy spells, he can't focus, he's weak all around. This is bad news. No proportionate strength of a spider, no Spider-Man. Just to be sure, he decides to consult Dr. Curt Connors who also happens to be the Lizard on his bad days.

Unfortunately...

Typical. A specialist is never around when you need one. Wait. Florida? Dr. Connors isn't going on one of his "research expeditions" to the Everglades again is he? On second thoughts, Petey my boy, you're probably better off without the Doctor. Took his family with him, huh? Yeah, Florida's a long trip south. He might need a snack.

Meanwhile, all the gang's at Gwen Stacy's place having a groovy party, daddy-o!

What Mary Jane really meant was, "That blonde bitch's hogging all the attention. I wish someone would break something of hers. Her neck would be nice."

But then, a woozy-headed Peter Parker walks in holding the Spider-Man face mask in his hands:

Naturally, no one can accept this. Gwen is understandably upset. Your boyfriend tells you he swings around the city covered head to toe in brightly coloured spandex, you'd be upset too. Peter, his headache getting worse, runs out and in desperation heads to the nearest hospital dressed as Spider-Man. Curt Connors not there to help him, he'll just go to any doctor who can.

And the diagnosis?

WTF? Y'know, I was expecting something more...oh, I don't know...serious. Maybe a mutation, or a life threatening disease that only Galactus has the cure for. I never expected the frickin' flu virus. Still, those nasty buggers once brought down a Martian invasion fleet so I wouldn't put it past them to mess up with Spidey's juju. But there's one small problem....


Yup.

But fret not, True Believers. Stan the Man has a deus ex machina waiting in the wings. Hobie Brown a.k.a The Prowler agrees to dress up as Spider-Man while Peter goes back to Gwen and explain that it was all a misunderstanding, honest. With Peter standing there and Spider-Man peering throuh the window, everyone believes Peter's story and all wells that ends well.

This issue appears in the Stan Lee Meets... hardcover collection which was where I first came across it. Stan Lee Meets... collects original stories written by several comic book talents honouring Stan Lee. It also features classic stuff written by Stan like this Amazing Spider-Man issue. The new stuff are mostly quite good. Lots of chuckles here and there. The classic Stan Lee stuff aren't bad but a couple of them, like this Spidey story, made me think that they could have included a better story. What were they thinking?

"Hey, we need an old Stan Lee issue in this 'Stan Lee Meets...' hardcover collection."

"Uhm, how about Amazing Spider-Man #87?"

"The one where Spidey catches the flu? Perfect!"

AMAZING FANTASY OMNIBUS

So, Marvel's AMAZING FANTASY OMNIBUS arrived at my door the other day and it's been a blast going through this thing. Is it good? Urm, yeah. The stories are okay. Are they good good? Heaven's, no! But you know, I'm reading this through the eyes of a fan who grew up with late-70s/early-80s superhero comics so really, it's kinda unfair to call the AF stories crap. They were written in 1961, fer goodness' sakes. It's a nice book if you like to read early works of Stan Lee, Kirby, Ditko et al.

The stuff in here are mostly 'alien space monster lands on Earth, plans to colonise Earth, gets fooled by puny humans and leaves Earth'. Towards the end of its run (it only ran for 15 issues and if you know your comics history, you should know what happened in the 15th issue), Stan Lee tried to copy the style of E.C.'s Weird Science-type stories. Not bad in themselves but 'meh' when compared to the true E.C. stuff (which are being collected into hardcover editions. Go to Amazon and collect them all).

This collection is chock full of panels that are just totally funny when taken out of context or even within context. Especially since I'm reading it with 21st century untinted glasses. Perfect for blog material. Here are a couple:



Because clearly you can't fight sinister and corrupt occult powers if you continue to look Caucasian.


See? That's how you handle women!