Superman Is Cruel To Animals

G.I JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO week is taking a break today. No reason, I'm just taking a break from the Joes. It's just for one day. It's not like I'm getting paid to do this thing. Let's look at how Superman treats animals instead....

Awww, the poor kitty. Look at Leo the Lion's face there. You can feel his pain. You know what he's thinking? He's thinking, "But Superman! Why?...." as his last breath is choked out of his larynx. And what's Superman planning to do with his right hand there? A super-karate chop? Have you no pity, sir? Haven't you?

Aw, Superman! No, please no! Mama Bear was just trying to protect her cubs. It's natural. What's with the choke hold? It's that stupid bint you should be choking. Is that Lois? What was she thinking going around petting bear cubs?

Again with the choke hold. And now you're trying to de-fang the tiger as well. Nice....NOT! Dude, just super tickle the sabretooth or something.

All your base are belong to us! You tell him, Supergirl. Me love you long time. And head-butt him good, Super-Horse! Mercy is for the weak. That'll show him. What a dick.